It's not my fault... victim syndrome...

You sometimes wonder: “But why have I not been able to detach myself, for years, from this man who criticizes everyone, is impulsive, does not recognize his mistakes, diminishes others, and often lacks respect for me? ?Why was this put in my way when I'm a good person, and I'm doing my best with him? Why doesn't he admit his mistakes, doesn't apologize? » But did you know that if he admitted his mistakes, he would feel diminished, less than nothing... Confessing his mistakes means making himself fragile in your eyes and in the eyes of others, it's not easy to do, when we have not worked on ourselves. Questioning ourselves is therefore difficult for him, because when we are found wanting in these moments, our image of ourselves is modified. It is also possible that the person fears the consequences, whether it is losing their esteem, their status, their shell, the love of others, and finding themselves alone. The ego sometimes uses behavioral force to forget to listen, to not see its faults; and he thus camouflages the fact that he was not just by maintaining a posture of strength. His need for love, for attention, to be right, is stronger than common sense, than what is right to say or do. A human being is complex when he seeks to protect itself, to survive in an ambiguous situation. He often becomes like a small animal who is ready to do anything to exist and be heard. And did you know that behind its operating mechanism is also the fear of being rejected, of being imperfect or unpleasant; that criticism is also a form of attitude of victimization, and that passing oneself for the victim of history is a kind of way of defending oneself as well, an expressed force, a relationship of power. If life revealed to him who he really is when he criticizes, he would probably become too hard on himself, he would turn down the criticism. A person in the extreme who sacrifices himself, or who is depressed, that's what he does in a way. She internalizes her discomfort, she concentrates her problems, instead of externalizing them by criticizing others. Discovering that one has made a mistake and admitting it, repairing it, is an art of wisdom of the highest order. And without spiritual knowledge, one can only repress or express oneself in a way ambiguous. One day wisdom will take us to the highest level of empathy there is. We manage to talk to ourselves and say: “Have you ever made a mistake or made a criticism? » And we realize that everyone does it to defend themselves, and to learn. One day we become capable of speaking to others, of de-dramatizing, of disarming, without a relationship of inferiority or superiority... and when we ourselves commit an error, we understand it as a step leading us to the cause, to even greater knowledge. Do you want to develop these qualities? Ease of recognizing one's mistakes and repairing them, capable of supporting and helping others in difficult situations, facing difficult tasks and carrying them out with ease, having courage, ardor and great emotional strength, etc.