Dream #1: Preparing for childbirth

Sharing: Here is my situation; I am pregnant with my second child and at the very beginning of my pregnancy I received this dream:

Dream: I gave birth in the hospital, I was alone with a midwife. The birth went very well, quickly, I didn't have any anesthesia, it seems, but I didn't have any pain. I could feel the baby going down and out and when it did, I took him on my stomach. I put a finger in his mouth and he bit it with his gums quickly without hurting me. I press a little on my chest to get some milk out and it comes out in a jet, it even waters the midwife's papers, I apologize to her. I don't know how breastfeeding is going with my baby, but I tell myself that in any case, I will put him to the breast every fifteen minutes to give him my milk and not do the same as with my first child ( he had lost weight in the first days because he was not breastfeeding effectively and I had not noticed it and this had necessitated an extension of our stay in the maternity ward). I then see myself being able to put my clothes back on, and find my cell phone in my pocket to call my husband. I hold my baby with my left arm and see that I have 68 missed calls, many of them from my husband. I don't sense any worry on his part, but a desire to know if everything went well. He's at work and I'm going to call him. I also tell myself that I'm going to call my parents to inform them, because I don't want to do anything like my first birth, where they didn't receive our message and were informed late of the birth, they were disappointed... I am then surprised to see that I will have three children, because I already have one, I have just had another and it is as if I was still pregnant with my second and that I was going to give birth in a few months so that would be three. A staff member thinks we're getting married at the hospital and I tell him we're already married.

Dream #2: Police profession

Sharing: I would like to share with you a situation which concerns my work and which is currently causing me problems:

I have been working in the police for almost 20 years now. I was a uniformed gendarme for 5 years, then I joined the judicial police, where I deal with everything relating to offenses under the Penal Code (theft, fire, death, etc.) but mainly at the level of morals and minors. I specialize in hearing children who are victims of abuse or sexual assault. (I admit that it is this part of my work that gives me the most motivation and satisfaction). I have had the idea of ​​leaving my job several times because of the always a little too “gloomy” and dark side of this profession. I applied to different positions that interested me, without success. I have been working with the Angels for almost 5 years. In relation to that, I know that if I am still in the police, it is because I must learn something... We changed offices recently with my two colleagues and for the first time, I brought plants and personal objects to give a more pleasant and lively character to my workstation. We also changed managers recently and he is someone very human and, in general, well organized and communicative, which was not at all the case with the previous leader. The atmosphere at work has therefore improved a lot... However, last Tuesday, I had to follow a shooting training called AMOK (these are exercises which concern interventions in public or other establishments, following the killings which took place all over the world in schools, nurseries, etc... for around ten years). We must in fact intervene in groups, in the establishment, to arrest the attacker. In the morning, we did range shooting exercises outside and there, my gun jammed several times, almost every time, something that had never happened to me so much before. In the afternoon, we were shown a film on the Columbine massacre in 1999 with live camera shots. Like many of my colleagues, it made my blood run cold...I then had big doubts during the intervention exercises in the afternoon, because I told myself that we were going straight to death if this type of event happened in our country, because the aggressors who carry out this type of assassination are very well armed, certainly better than us and they have nothing to lose... But this is about trying to save lives...so... It is also true that for some time now I have had a big problem with my conscience regarding my weapon. I never really liked shooting, but I figured I was learning to control my emissive side and it was working very well. Except now it's like my whole body is rejecting it. The idea of ​​perhaps having to use my weapon is now something really difficult for me... I know that my job is useful and we generally do more social work and prevention than repression, but in relation to my work to "become a better soul", carrying a weapon is probably not very advisable... Therefore, I feel a little lost in relation to this and I would like to have, if possible , clarification on this subject..