Dream #1: Doctor Lakshmi

Share: The husband - Not on good terms, but not completely separated either. Still to be concluded. He is trying to find a job and we have a lot of misunderstandings and also too much interference and control from the in-laws. He and I have not been together for 6 months...

Mother - rigid, old fashioned, lacks and needs in material aspects, emotional but also good potential to understand when she communicates in the right way and very intuitive.

Grandmother - without affirmation, all her life she was like a slave, never resting, doing all the housework and cooking one meal after another without much help, very loving but having many health problems and suffering before her death...

Cousin - Not much contact with me in years. But very self-centered. The only recent thing I know is that she is getting married in a month.

Dr. Lakshmi - A very loving spiritual teacher whose workshops I have attended, but here I feel that she is my inner Dr. Lakshmi.

Uncle and Aunt - Not very educated, too down to earth, lots of material wants and needs, manipulative, emotional dependencies, abusive, waste of resources, etc.

Office colleague - Very impulsive at times, emotionally unstable, unpredictable, manipulative, lots of shortcomings, superiority and inferiority issues.

Dream: I am near the sea with a small fence built like a wall. There are some steps before the water. After a while, the water level rises and I switch to a scene where I am on a video call. I show the scene to my parents and try to convince them that the water level has risen, the steps have sunk and the water has almost reached the wall. The sea level is also shown in another video that looks like a newscast.

Then I am at my maternal grandparents' house and I am very sick and feverish. My husband is in the next room where my aunt and uncle are and he doesn't come to take care of me.

Meanwhile, I walk around the periphery of the house, there are badminton courts outside, but he is not there. When I am about to enter the house from the backyard, I see him and he is smiling and sweating, he has a badminton racket in his hand and he says he was playing inside. I feel disappointed and angry, I walk into the kitchen and loudly throw a utensil on the floor...

Because of the noise, my mother arrives. I was crying and trying to hide as if nothing had happened... I was crying because I was sick with fever and my husband was busy doing sports... I wonder if my mother could help me by talking to him and asking him why he doesn't take care of me, but I don't see the point... I also have doubts about him and I don't trust him since he's no longer there.

In the next scene, I am in a workshop on the inner child and Dr. Lakshmi is teaching. My husband is also present and I wonder why I am repeating this workshop...... (in fact, we had both taken this workshop together). Dr. Lakshmi asks me to sit in a certain place and I sit there. While I am sitting, she points out to me in front of everyone that I have a lot of fat around my belly and I feel embarrassed. Meanwhile, she asks me, "Where should I sit your husband?"Dr. Lakshmi laughs at me (jokingly) and says, "Next to you, in front of you, etc. Etc."so I say wherever he sits, it's fine with me.

Then my cousin is there and Dr. Lakshmi asks her to sit behind me and my husband is in the front row. I wonder if, since my husband and I are not on good terms now, maybe upstairs we rewound my life to that moment when we both attended a class together as a second chance? I was deeply wondering why I was reliving this... And I see my maternal grandmother who is there too, then I validate... Okay, I really went back in time since in reality my grandmother is no longer... And I try to go near Dr. Lakshmi and ask her why I went back in time, and why I am back at this point?

My husband is in the front row and tries to come closer to listen, but he stops. There I see my office mate's face instead of his. And again, I realize that my husband is not in the front row but is sitting somewhere far away. Dr. Lakshmi tells me that I am not alive and that I am dead, and that because of my attachment to my husband, I am back here at this very moment.

I am surprised and also scared, thinking that I must have already died of my fever when I was at my grandmother's house and now it is my ghostly self... And I try to look around. I feel like a ghost that has the illusion of being alive, and suddenly I disappear into the darkness. Then I wake up with the fear of finding myself alive.